I was horrible to a random over the weekend, and I feel less bad than I should about it. As in actually horrible, not funny, clever, secretly “go you, Tam” horrible, but just plain nasty. We were running a late night TotC-10 (and it was quite late – being about 2 in the morning) because a guildie needed to complete the weekly. I went along to be helpful. It was an all-guild helpful run except for one healer, and one of the DPS I think. Healing was, err, challenging – the other guild healer was basically as drunk as wheelbarrow and the pugged healer was … I hesitate to use the word worthless … but I think he thought healing was something other people did. So I was basically trying to compensate everywhere, which, combined with the lateness of the hour, made me Grumpmaker Tamarind.
We two-shotted beasts and one-shotted Lord J … and wiped on the Faction Champs. It was a combination of factors, I think, but I’ll choose the stupid priest who stood there like a politician in a house of domination, presenting tender bits of his anatomy to whoever happened to be passing (no, not *this* stupid priest, the other guy).
“Heal ffs,” observed the pugged DPS, sagely, as we ran back into instance.
There was an endless moment in which stars were born and died, continents shifted, polar ice-caps melted and then:
“Rarrraarrrfgarrrrrgh!” shrieked I, gnawing on his face and entrails.
I can’t remember precisely what I said but, truthfully, it wasn’t big or clever or necessary… and, to spare my own blushes, I won’t relate it all here. I didn’t swear at him or anything like (I’ve only ever done that once in the game, and I regretted it strongly), I was just … sharp, and blunt, if one can possibly be both, and intimated rather strongly that his attitude wasn’t making him any friends here… or liable to get him any heals.
It’s not like we were a fail pug – he’d already got the quest credit, to say nothing of two pieces of plate, and badges. It wasn’t the smoothest run in the world but the bosses were going down. It was the “ffs” that got to me. Every time I see somebody use it, it makes me insane in my membrane. I know I get disproportionately bothered by it, considering it is merely three letters, but it just strikes me that there are rarely situations in which it is anything like appropriate to deploy it. I think what it actually means has become distorted behind the ease with which one can type out those three little letters – it might as well be “lol” or “omw” or “brb” except it isn’t. The thing is, I don’t think you’d dream of typing out the full “for fuck’s sake” with anything like half the regularity people fling out “ffs.”
Dear Azeroth,
A reminder.
Ffs stands for FOR FUCK’S SAKE.
Now, imagine the tone of voice in which you normally say FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Imagine the sort of situations in which you might use it. Perhaps you accidentally blow off your own foot with an elephant gun; I concede that a “for fuck’s sake” would entirely be in order, before you pass out from the pain. Perhaps you come home after a hard day at the jam factory to discover your brother in flagrante delicto with your wife. “For fuck’s sake,” you might sigh to yourself, as you view the two-backed beast in your marital bed.
Now, imagine a situation in which, for example, I don’t know, let’s say a stranger drops your pencil. Do you respond by going FOR FUCK’S SAKE?
I sincerely hope not.
Entering a shop behind a member of the general public, would you say: Hold the door, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.
No.
Finding yourself behind a little old lady in the Sainsbury’s check out queue, do you bounce up and down behind her yelling “gogogogogo FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”
No, you don’t.
And why not? Because it is not okay. It is, in fact, DOWNRIGHT FUCKING RUDE, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!
Thank you.
Kind regards,
Tam
The other thing I hate about ffs is that it implies blame should be pointed elsewhere. If you all wipe and somebody gives vent to vague, universal frustrations “oh dear” or “damn” or “oh so close!” then that’s fair enough – it merely verbalises something you’re probably all feeling, without separating the verbaliser from the rest of the group. But “ffs” is deliberately distancing. It might as well be “YOU GUYS ALL FUCKED IT UP, YOU GRACELESS MORONS.” And even if one can point the finger of blame at a single individual in a group of ten (which strikes me as unlikely anyway since raids are complex entities- worthless priest aside!), “ffs, dude” is not anything like an appropriate comment to make. It’s not like you walk into a raid and say to yourself “I think I’ll get eat a paralytic toxin and then run the wrong way today. If I wipe the whole raid, so much the better!”
So, yes, I loathe ffs with a passion – not only is it unnecessarily rude but it constitutes a complete and wilful abdication of responsibility for something going wrong. It’s all about saying “I’m fine, you guys suck and you need to sort it out” without having to engage with the real problems at hand. And if you’ve joined a raid, up until the point when you decide it genuinely isn’t worth your while to stay with it, you are as much a participant in the failures of the group as the successes.
It is the implied contract of raiding… for better or worse, for purples or failure, in debuffs and replenishment, to endure and not whinge, till wipes us do part, according to Lady RNG’s holy law.
Having ffsed, this hapless guy then committed the Second Cardinal Sin According To Tam and announced, just before the pull, “focus plx.”
GAH! Now, I’m not disputing there are circumstances in which it’s okay for someone to say “focus please” to a group – and that’s when you’re the raid leader, and your group is pissing around Vent and making stupid mistakes. In short: when you know your team isn’t focussing, and, yes, we all know that lack of concentration can wipe a raid. But when you say it out of the blue, straight on the heels of ffs … hell is basically too good for you. Again, it’s about that distancing. That establishment of a spurious veneer of superiority. And it’s absolutely meaningless. It brings nothing to the raid at all. It’s not a helpful suggestion. It’s not a tactic. It’s not analysis. All it says is “I want you to know that I think the problem is you guys, and I need you to put more effort into not wiping so I can get more out of you. Snap to it.”
Focus plx?
Fuck off plx. And mind the fire on your way out. Or don’t.
Anyway, enough of my bile. Here are some awesome awesome links.
There’s a jolly fine rant from Slik over at Bang & Blame, against the entitlement culture being built up around tanks and healers.
Taz at Wild Growth is being brilliant (as ever) on the subject of the incoming heroic nerfs. And on the same topic, there’s some gigglesome, worryingly “actually this might actually happen” satire over at Priest With A Cause.
Every time I do a linky love post, I could find something fantastic to link to at Gnomer’s Place – but I found this story of a difficult Ulduar run absolutely hilarious. Okay, I probably wouldn’t if I’d been there but still…
So the new healing assignment is well, same as before except now I am officially healing the raid and 75% of the off tank.
I love this. What it 75% of an off-tank?
I couldn’t resist this post from HoTs & Dots: how to make your random healer love you. It’s absolutely true, all it takes is for a random tank to acknowledge I’m not merely a very big, ambulatory health potion (like the dude who asked if I “minded” if he tanked in his DPS set – I wouldn’t have minded if he’d set my hair on fire after asking) and I’m theirs for life, offering out peeled grapes and free blowjobs with every flash heal…
Speaking of tanks, I’ve linked to DPS perspectives, healer perspectives, and here’s Beru’s rather hair raising experiences of learning to tank in LFG. Ye gods, she’s courageous.
And on the subject of being outside one’s comfort, DDK on *gasp* shadow priesting!!!. The world! It endeth!
And finally: required reading over at Pewpewlasers. I love Calli. Like srsly. Even if he is a gnome.
I’ve been a bit slow catching up on my blogs after The Very Unexpected Conference, so apologies to people who are suddenly coming home to four or five sucessive posts from me. I’ve also fallen a bit behind on my search and destroy mission for new blogs (but which I mean, blogs I have lately discovered rather than blogs that are new) but here are some of my latest discoveries that come to you heartily recommended – for whatever that’s worth.
For those who can’t look away from car crashes, the Pugging Pally is levelling to 80 using LFG. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
A blog I’ve been meaning to link for a while is The Indecent Healer, partially shameless nepotism (guildie!) but also because he’s fantastic, and a very very decent healer indeed. I like all his stuff but his latest post on Healing Versus DPS is as good a starting point as any.
I’m also really loving Aggro Management – it’s easy to link the blog wholesale rather than choose a post, since I find pretty much everything they write insightful, eloquent and amusing.
There’s also Imp and A Tree, The View Through the Branches (lately on desk-calender inspired WoW Tourism – highly recommended for lovers of Azeroth’s neglected corners) and The Lazy Sniper.
And that’s probably enough reading to keep any normal person engaged for an afternoon and beyond – so I’ll have mercy on you and stop.
My dad once drove over my foot. Yes, with his car. I think that qualifies as a ffs moment. But at the time not only did my brain stop, but I was too shocked to be upset.
So I think ffs moments are i'm-about-to-completely-lose-it-and-have-a-tanty if something doesn't change moments. I think if my achievements tracked it like they do my Times LoL'd I've probably only used "ffs" about 10 times. And probaby 8 of those times was in pugs.
My recent post 10 Tips to Successfully Apply to a Raiding Guild
I think, when somebody drives over your foot, you are more than justified in letting rip with for fuck's sake – and indeed much much worse.
There's nothing inherently wrong FFS moments – I have them myself – I just don't believe they tend to be the sort of moments in which the average pugee tends to start throwing around ffs at other party members. Heal ffs, for example, makes me actually want to roll up an Alliance alt, get them to 80 and GANK THE BASTARD.
ffs.. I only say fs when it matters.. like in Ulduar…
I must say when I let rip with it, and it's rare, it's pointed and deserved… I have the full statement roaring through my mind, but somehow think I am keeping the mindless animal at bay with 3 simple letters.
bad pug stories.. I have a million of them.. so many I just take screenshots rather than writing while I ghost run… tomorrow I will change that… a nice pug story… gotta have one for the month.. don't I?
ffs these guys were good.. people.. excellent people.
My recent post It’s the Tank’s Fault!
Sometimes FFS is the right response – and I've uttered those three little words myself on more than one occasion. But, yes, you're right, even if I'm typing just f,f, and s I'm *thinking* (and, indeed, roaring) FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Which stops me from over-using them. And I think I tend to throw them at inanimate things or myself – like the time I misclicked on the AH and accidentally bought three epic strength gems. But in that instance I was yelling at the vagaries of fate and the ineptitude of myself – not another person.
I think what made that bad pug story so unique was the, err, time and effort they put into making it really stand out – the little idiosyncratic touches. 75% of the OT my arse!
PS.. I hate you!
I had to follow a few of the links.. my feedreader has been at 1,000+ unread now for going on 6 weeks and you give me this!
ffs
Very nice choices…
My recent post It’s the Tank’s Fault!
Hehe, the blogosphere is very distracting – I should know. I am losing a permanent battle against my feedreader…one of these days, it'll *eat* me.
"Finding yourself behind a little old lady in the Sainsbury’s check out queue, do you bounce up and down behind her yelling “gogogogogo FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”"
Need to buy new keyboard, was just drinking coke. Hilarious post, thank you. I must say I hate the "leet" abbreviations with passion – lol, plx, plz, stfu, ffs all drive me mad. I can stand and I actually support if people use things like omw, brb, eta, afk – those terms are more "technical" and all they do is help people express their actual need or share information in quick and easy way.
My recent post ICC gear sets (version 1-normal) and Totem thoughts.
That bit has me <s>lol</s> laughing out loud as well. Sometimes it can be good to remind yourself of how the real and the virtual world are not that different…
My recent post Blackfathom nostalgia
Just because it's virtual doesn't mean some standard behavioural rules don't apply
that comment also made me giggle
luckily i didn't have a drink….
Its what we WANT to say (or at least I do…) but generally, people have a sense of what is appropriate and how other people are thinking/feeling/acting so we keep our mouths shut. We know that the little old lady is probably just well, old, and can't move as fast as she would like, maybe has pain in her joints, hell maybe she's half senile. We cut her some slack.
In wow we expect everyone else to do exactly as we would do all the time, perfectly. Except that even WE don't do that because shit happens and people make mistakes. I think it's why I'm in a very social casual guild, I just can't get behind the whole 'the world is falling down if we don't kill this boss now and no-one makes a mistake evar' attitude of hardcore progression raiding.
Absolutely agreed – the other thing, I suppose, is that we don't doubt the "reality" of the little old lady, whereas it's very easy in WoW to convince yourself that the other guys around you are merely tools on the path to purplez….
Delighted to have entertained – although I'm sorry about your keyboard
I have to admit I'm snobbily anti leet abbreviations m'self, and I feel faintly bad about it. What helps, though, is the Guild tends to use them for ironic or comedic effect, which makes me less hostile to them. Also Chas greeted me totally non-ironically the other day with HAI TAM which was, err, worrying.
But, yes, I see the need for the more technical terms – and I use them – but, really, is there any need for *shudder* plx.
I used to say "ffs" all the time, because I thought it was a sound effect, like going "pffft" or something.
Then somebody told me what it actually meant… now you got to understand… in real life, I'm basically the girl version of Napoleon Dynamite. The harshest I ever get is something like "oh my crap, what the fracking heck" or something.
So yeah. =X
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WoW Tourettes!
Actually it does sound quite onomatopoeic – which I could get behind -but I can’t quite shake the image of somebody getting right up in my face and roaring FOR FUCK’S SAKE at me.
I have to admit, I do swear rather a lot in real life (restoration poetry sort of de-sensitises to what is acceptable public expression) but I sometimes self-consciously try to avoid it – which leave me goshing and oh i sayin-ing like Winnie-the-Pooh.
"Finding yourself behind a little old lady in the Sainsbury’s check out queue, do you bounce up and down behind her yelling “gogogogogo FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”" Need to buy new keyboard, was just drinking coke. Hilarious post, thank you. I must say I hate the "leet" abbreviations with passion – lol, plx, plz, stfu, ffs all drive me mad. I can stand and I actually support if people use things like omw, brb, eta, afk – those terms are more "technical" and all they do is help people express their actual need or share information in quick and easy way. My recent post ICC gear sets (version 1-normal) and Totem thoughts.
I don't hate 'ffs' but I have let it slip a few times. Only when I'm really really pissed off and usually not in game. More like a 'shouting at the computer' moment so no one hears my vile language
My recent post 4-6 Months….What do YOU Need to Complete?
I'm not saying people shouldn't say FFS, and certainly not to themselves in dire situations, but I hate the way it tends to be used by people in the game where it's generally not a way to express general frustration, it's a way to whinge about failure and cast blame on others
that comment also made me giggle
luckily i didn't have a drink…. Its what we WANT to say (or at least I do…) but generally, people have a sense of what is appropriate and how other people are thinking/feeling/acting so we keep our mouths shut. We know that the little old lady is probably just well, old, and can't move as fast as she would like, maybe has pain in her joints, hell maybe she's half senile. We cut her some slack. In wow we expect everyone else to do exactly as we would do all the time, perfectly. Except that even WE don't do that because shit happens and people make mistakes. I think it's why I'm in a very social casual guild, I just can't get behind the whole 'the world is falling down if we don't kill this boss now and no-one makes a mistake evar' attitude of hardcore progression raiding.
Cool kids use cool abbreviations, it’s not about what they mean, it’s about being cool.
Hehe. I am so not down with the kids =P
I feel a little creeped out. That is the excact meaning i lay into those 3 little letters. Word for word.
ffs.
I really really only use those words when i am really pissed at someone, who eiter should know better, or who doesnt learn from their mistake
I use them too, don't get me wrong. But I think the difference is we know *when* we're using them – i.e. what mean and what it implies. I just hate the heedless way random morons will throw it out there, as if they don't give a toss they're actually swearing in your face. Rez ffs…. gah.
haha, I'm not sure if "courageous" is the right word! "Insane" might be more apt
I am still trucking along on my tank experiement, and I've quite honestly let my inner bitch out some. If the group has issues, I will give them my "ground rules", explaining that I build rage when shit beats on me. If I pull and you charge/stun/send your pet in and he charges/stuns it makes it quite difficult for me to generate threat. I will politely ask people to stop such behaviour. However, if they persist, I just quite blatently stop tanking things off of them, with a polite tell to the healer to let them know my intentions, so that they can make their own decisions on that particular person's death.
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(sorry your comment is too long, try splitting it into multiple comments
)
pt. 2!
I will say, however, that after a few polite requests 85% of the people will generally listen and adjust to what you've asked them to do (or refrain from doing). I've only had one person "gogogogogogo" me, to which I told them if they wanted a gogo tank, they'd have to look somewhere else as I didn't tank in heels
My recent post Getting Grid Ready for ICC’s Crimson Hall
Well … isanity makes for excellent posts
I guess as a tank you do have just enough power, and the group is sufficiently dependent on your good will, that you can lay down your ground rules effectively. I'm glad it's worked for you.
And the gogo tank line is a classic!
Oh thank God. I've been trying to figure out for 6 weeks what the hell ffs means. I thought it was a reference to one's framerate or something. Contextfail ftw!
My recent post A Tribute to the Third Healer
Haha, it's probably better that, to be honest.
For fish sticks?
Frogs Favouring Soup?
I never use the term "ffs". Hell, I rarely ever type out the middle "f", mostly just using the good ol' standy "eff" as a stand-in. Eg: "man, he totally effed that up!" etc, etc.
Which is weird, cause I swear like a sailor on vent. I just bring myself to type profanities.
My recent post Tips for Festergut and Rotface
I cuss a blue streak on Vent, and in person truthfully, as well – but at least there are cues and at least I put some thought into said swearing, and precisely what I may be saying – or implying – to others.
Whereas typing FFS is an easy way to express disdain and contempt for those around you, while dumping responsibility for failure on them, not you.
I am learning to tank using LFG… at 70. It's been… an experience, to say the least.
But I totally agree. Ffs should only be used in dire situations… like the above mentioned driving over of a foot. Or upending dinner because your dumb ass didn't turn the pan handle and you ran into it while running through the kitchen to grab something else from the fridge. (true story)
My recent post A Star Is Born
Ouch! Yes, FFS is for dire situations. Or when you really, and in full-knowledge with full-awareness, want to bollock someone out.
I don’t use profanity unless I’m really upset (I’m of the belief that if you use it casually, you have to invent new words to express the severity of the situation when it’s actually warranted) and I keep the profanity filter turned on so that I don’t have to look at other people using it.
Anyone who directs anything so mean-spirited my direction will become the target of my petty vengeance. Even a guy who tells me to “shut up and tank” is going to see me leave the group in the middle of a pull and let them deal with the fallout that happens afterwards. At the very least, they’ll have to find a new tank.
I don’t have to put up with that nonsense, and maybe if more people would just leave rather than put up with it, more people would learn to be courteous, or at least not downright rude. One can dream, right?
I read that post – and I think they thoroughly deserved it when you quit the group. It is never acceptable to tell someone to "shut up and tank" unless they've suddenly started filibustering in HOS or something
I have no problems with profanity, err, as my posts probably indicate but I dislike it being generically directed at me in game. FFS should not be used for emphasis (rez me, ffs, heals ffs etc.) Gah!
Truthfully, I have to admit, that if someone said, "YOU GUYS ALL FUCKED IT UP, YOU GRACELESS MORONS!" I might actually enjoy it for its refreshing honesty and also, word choice. But let's face it, that's never going to happen.
This was definitely a "do not drink" while reading post. Now I have a billion links to check out because every single one of those (perhaps barring one) sounds like a really interesting site/post. As for the one, thank you for the link! I'm going to get a complex because every person who links to me says, "This is the visual equivalent of stabbing yourself in the eyeball, but if you're into the pain and suffering of others, check it out!"
As would I, to be honest – I'd probably lament the arrogance but I'd value the courage. I think it's a very rare situation where you point the finger of blame squarely at any one, or group, of individuals (although the time Felymst turned everyone else in the raid group into mind-controlled zombies springs to mind…) but equally I'd much rather people had the guts to say "I think it was you" than FFSing the darkness
My pleasure with the link – and don't get paranoid, as it turns out, lots of us really enjoy watching you stab yourself in the eye…uh…that sounded better in my head…
I don’t use profanity unless I’m really upset (I’m of the belief that if you use it casually, you have to invent new words to express the severity of the situation when it’s actually warranted) and I keep the profanity filter turned on so that I don’t have to look at other people using it.
Anyone who directs anything so mean-spirited my direction will become the target of my petty vengeance. Even a guy who tells me to “shut up and tank” is going to see me leave the group in the middle of a pull and let them deal with the fallout that happens afterwards. At the very least, they’ll have to find a new tank.
I don’t have to put up with that nonsense, and maybe if more people would just leave rather than put up with it, more people would learn to be courteous, or at least not downright rude. One can dream, right?
I've shouted for fuck's sake to my computer many times in pugs or guild runs but I don't think I've ever typed "ffs."
"Entering a shop behind a member of the general public, would you say: Hold the door, FOR FUCK’S SAKE."
Actually…I've done this. Granted, it was under my breath, but it does happen. It's probably because I curse in onomatopoeia, because since they sound different in my head, they're used for different types or degrees of anxiety/pissed-off-ness. I don't know why, honestly, but I do. So damn is never short, always long "daaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnn," unless it's damnit, "DAMNit," and shit is usually "sht!…sht!sht!sht!sht!sht!" or "shihhhhhhhhhhhhhhht," and fuck is just awesome and my favorite as either long ("fuhhhhhhhhhhhck") or short ("FOK!" — deep & guttural).
I'd never use a damn when it was a fuck situation. /shrug
My recent post Theorycrafting Spree/Rage
I yell at my computer too – especially when I feel exasperated, with myself or the group. But I don't swear *at* people, and not in such a cowardly, buck-passing, lack-lustre way
I also enjoying swearing – I like the sounds but for me it's all about the modifers. The right adjective or adverb can really transform a tepid swear into something utterly filthy and arresting. Mwahaha.
All I can really say is 'hear hear'.
I'm guilty of using abbreviations like 'ffs' casually sometimes, but it's only ever in guild chat or on /w, never with people I don't know. And certainly not in real life, unless I'm really angry. But you'd know then anyway, because I'd be green and ripping my clothes off.
I think because it's abbreviated, people don't consider it to have the same forcefulness as writing or saying it out in full. And it's not as offensive to look at either. But you are 100% correct with what you say in that it is just as bad in reality.
Thought: Why are swear words considered offensive? I mean, they're just words. Most of them don't actually MEAN anything or have a basis in being insulting. So why do people actually consider them bad, if you see what I mean?
Don't get me wrong, I swear as well – I'm not down on swearing – but I'm just down on FFS, which I *hate* because it's lazy, heedless and selfish and people use it as a way of implying blame. It makes other's take responsibility rather than drawing groups together as a team. And, you're right, the abbreviation makes people forget that what you're really yelling at some one is: FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
As to why swear words are considered offensive, well, I think there will be always be linguistic taboos, connected to the social mores of the day…. I don't think it's about the literal words than what is constructed around them. My pet theory is that soon "fuck" will the equivalent of "damn" and the worst 'swear' words will come from what were once racial slurs.
I had to look up "ffs" when you mentioned t a few posts ago.
I have only sworn once in party/heroic chat during PuG that was already being a bit abusive to me.
I just just don't get people getting THAT worked up. Yes, I can get semi-livid at some stupid induced failure, but I can't be bothered.
I can't help but feel for foks that have to put up with it regularly.
I swear a bit, but more imaginatively than FFS
Tam, I swear you're getting grumpier than me these days. After I had an unfortunate… typed screaming match with a deficient warlock who had the gall to blame the tank after she went running facefirst and alone into a scourge wave in HCOS… I decided maybe it's time to step back from the angry healer role for a while and… I don't know, grind rep with Sha'tari Skyguard or something.
Maybe your Cow is due for a picnic somewhere wildly inappropriate, like a Silithid Hive or Forge Camp: Hate?
It's true … I am getting way too grumpy. I think it's a combination of factors. I should go chill out in The Barrens or something, instead of ranting about bad behaviour in pugs
Also, in my wild innocence, I have been trying to work out for ages what "ffs" meant… I thought perhaps some variant on "for sure". Silly me.
Very nice rant. And too true.
I would guess that half the people using ffs are ignorant as to what the reaction would be if they would say it this public. On the other hand, i have seen it used (also typed out) a LOT more often than necessary – which makes me wonder if games like WoW do not cause a deterioration of language among some of their subscribers.
On a totally unconnected note – thank you for the link – it has caused my hit count to explode
L
Don't get me wrong, I swear as well – I'm not down on swearing – but I'm just down on FFS, which I *hate* because it's lazy, heedless and selfish and people use it as a way of implying blame. It makes other's take responsibility rather than drawing groups together as a team. And, you're right, the abbreviation makes people forget that what you're really yelling at some one is: FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
My pleasure for the linkage – I enjoy your blog very much
I think WoW causes a deterioration in my sanity but I think my langauge is okay (for now)
Very nice rant. And too true.
I would guess that half the people using ffs are ignorant as to what the reaction would be if they would say it this public. On the other hand, i have seen it used (also typed out) a LOT more often than necessary – which makes me wonder if games like WoW do not cause a deterioration of language among some of their subscribers.
On a totally unconnected note – thank you for the link – it has caused my hit count to explode
L
Yow. I didn't know people got so upset at this. I had better cut back on my usage.
I don't direct it at individuals often, but I do use it as a general statement of exasperation – at the group, myself, or a boss who has it in for me specifically. (Skadi chasing me all over the world with his whirlwind, for example, splattering me to corners of said world. Ffs.)
Mostly I type things out properly, I promise, and I try to come up with more original insults unless pressed for time.
Wow, thanks you so much for the link and the lovely comments!
There is this lovely little spike right now on my hit counts thing! LoL…you are a dear!
The FFS thing makes me see red (in a PuG) as well, in large part because it's swearing and it feels rude to swear in front of strangers. I've got a pretty dirty mouth (had to pick a vice in University, and neither drinking nor smoking nor various other things really appealed to me, so swearing it was!) but I censor it in front of people I'm not friends with because, oh my God that's rude. A complete break down of the rules of social engagement. FFS is probably the worst one, too, because as you say it implies blame. It's an accusatory swear which is even worse.
My recent post It finally happened…
My pleasure – I absolutely adore your blog, it's so smart and snarky
It's an accusatory swear without any bollocks, that's what even worse – it's just generally "this group sucks, and I blame you" instead of coming out right out and saying "okay, you there, I think you are tanking badly and I wish to swear at you" whereupon the tank would have a chance to defend herself.
I hate FFS so much. Gah! And I, too, am a touch foul-mouthed in my day-to-day life. But it's not like I'd swear in front of strangers, as you say.
Driving in traffic in my lovely hometown is literally the only time I use the expression FFS, and so I guess I use it like I would the real words. But I agree, there's not much in a game worth cursing over. And I also nearly ruined a keyboard over the "Hurry Up Old Lady FFS" example. Thanks!
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You see, being stuck in traffic is absolutely the time to start FFSing – it's not like you were getting out of your car, banging on the windows of the cars stuck in front of you and bellowing FOR FUCK'S SAKE at the drivers
I'm not saying there's anything inherently with for fuck's saking in certain dire situations but after a wipe – naw.
I hate to do one of those "omg I totally agree!" and nothing else comments, but… this really is exactly why I hate "ffs" – taking the blame off yourself and placing it on everyone else in such an arrogant manner really gets my goat.
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It's always nice to be agreed with
Seriously though, it took me a long time to articulate to myself exactly why I hated it so much. I mean, I don't object to swearing, I cuss a blue streak myself on many occasions … but FFS really really gets to me. And I think, finally, I know why!
For some people, fuck means almost nothing at all.
For others, fuck means all manner of things, including intent to be offensive.
When those who use words for meaning run into those who use words for no clear reason at all, there will be conflict.
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It's not the swearing or the profanity that bothers me so much as the fact people forget it IS an obscenity. And the fact that there are a lot of implications under it – all the distancing and the blame I wrote about. There's a real difference between FFS and, say "oh fuck." Oh fuck is maybe a slightly over-stated expression of general frustration, FFS is definitely (even if not specifically) directed at the people around you.
awww. I love Tam and I love leetspeak abbreviations, with ffs being one of my very faves. How can I decide between the two? I guess we'll have to agree to differ.
Perhaps I should explain a bit further. To me swearing is the quintessence of language, the yawp of mental pain equivalent to a cat's shriek when its tail is stepped on. Swearing is used for emphasis, for humour, to express rage or happiness,for all sorts of things. Fuck is probably the most flexible word in the English language and cunt is derived from the Sanskrit, meaning the essense of femininity (look up the story of Princess Kunti for example). What's not to like?
And leetspeak is a wonderful modern way of playing with language: joking, punning, abbreviating and puzzling all in one alphanumeric package. L337 Ftw!
And so we come to ffs, which combines the two. It's a little gasp of frustration at the iniquities of life and the hell that is other people. Three letters which express a complex emotion with maximum economy. Like lol or kek. Back in the good old days we'd probably have said 'Come along now chaps, for goodness sake'. Nowadays it's ffs, and I for one wouldn't want to go back.
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Oh noes! Frankly I think you should ditch the leet and run away to a tropical paradise with me but…
Don't get me wrong, I love me some obscenity – I read Restoration poetry, so I kind of have to or spend my entire life crying in the corner…. it's just the journey from the glorious filth of something like 'Whence rows of mandrakes tall did rise / Whose lewd tops fucked the very skies' to "ffs' is, for me at least, all downhill. I wouldn't care so much people were using ffs out of some sense of poetry but they're not, they're using it because they're lazy, selfish, drooling cuntmonkeys who wouldn't recognise a proper swear word if it buggered them with aspic. Just sayin.
I've never ever uttered "ffs". And I always cringe whenever I hear anyone saying it. As you say it's a cunning way to distance yourself from the group and the shared responsability to get things working. f-f-s. Three small letters. And yet they say so much.
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I think if I ever felt like saying FFS, I'd at least have the passion to type it out fully
It's not something I use either. I have, ahem, occasionally lost it sworn at PUGs but then at least I have the bollocks to it properly!
Brilliant as usual.
The Sanity Tap affects us all, even the nice ones.
I healed a pug in HOS two days ago that brought out the jerk in me for sure. On the rock boss, we pulled, and I was standing behind the mage (doing 4k dps compared to #2 at 2.5k). Melee backed up, so to heal them, I moved forward – next to the mage. Of course, on shatter we both died. The mage cursed a bit, called me a bad healer. I had the temerity to try to explain. He said I sucked. I said, ‘lol, not a good thing to say to the healer.’ And promply switched from chain heals to lesser healing wave an riptide. He got nary a heal, but he didn’t die because Healing Stream is uber in heroics. But he kept complaining “HEAL ME, FFS!” I said, simply, “NO” so he stopped dpsing. The rest of the party started yelling at him to dps and he refused. The party then vote kicked him and commented about him the rest of the run. What puzzled me is that no one seemed pissed at me. Perhaps they were afraid to lose their healer. No one died before or after that, so other than that, it was an uneventful run. But yes, I allowed the mage to piss me off and sadly responded in kind.
Thank you kindly
And that story sounds like the reverse situation of my rez me ffs situation – I am so *glad* they sided with you instead of the wanker DPS.
It's like a Hollywood story in which some plucky 2.5k DPS kids from the wrong side of the tracks team up with an unconventional healer and overthrow the Prom Queen doing 4k DPS… or something
I’m glad too, because the 4k dps mage WAS a wanker, but I did respond in kind by refusing to heal him…. I suppose mine was the less aggregious misbehavior, but had the mage died that would have been counterproductive to the ‘run run must finish fast’ of the random heroic grind.
I think the group should at least have chastised me, even while kicking the mage.
In any case, the ffsing wanker got his due, I got cranky, but I got my way. I suppose I should just be happy that all is well with the world… of wow.
Yes, me too. I'm glad in the body of this post it was spelled out for me. I'd never use it knowing that it meant that…but I might've used it thinking it meant something else…gasp!….I'm a great-grandmother ffs.
Ahaha, that would be a great line
Brilliant as usual.
The Sanity Tap affects us all, even the nice ones.
I healed a pug in HOS two days ago that brought out the jerk in me for sure. On the rock boss, we pulled, and I was standing behind the mage (doing 4k dps compared to #2 at 2.5k). Melee backed up, so to heal them, I moved forward – next to the mage. Of course, on shatter we both died. The mage cursed a bit, called me a bad healer. I had the temerity to try to explain. He said I sucked. I said, ‘lol, not a good thing to say to the healer.’ And promply switched from chain heals to lesser healing wave an riptide. He got nary a heal, but he didn’t die because Healing Stream is uber in heroics. But he kept complaining “HEAL ME, FFS!” I said, simply, “NO” so he stopped dpsing. The rest of the party started yelling at him to dps and he refused. The party then vote kicked him and commented about him the rest of the run. What puzzled me is that no one seemed pissed at me. Perhaps they were afraid to lose their healer. No one died before or after that, so other than that, it was an uneventful run. But yes, I allowed the mage to piss me off and sadly responded in kind.
As would I, to be honest – I'd probably lament the arrogance but I'd value the courage. I think it's a very rare situation where you point the finger of blame squarely at any one, or group, of individuals (although the time Felymst turned everyone else in the raid group into mind-controlled zombies springs to mind…) but equally I'd much rather people had the guts to say "I think it was you" than FFSing the darkness
My pleasure with the link – and don't get paranoid, as it turns out, lots of us really enjoy watching you stab yourself in the eye…uh…that sounded better in my head…
The thing is, it's not the swearing that bugs me, it's the fact it's over-used, and it's the fact people use it "not as a general exasperation" but as distancing and implicit blame, as I said in the post. I don't mind people who use it in a self-directed way at all … I do so myself.
This is sad but when I first saw "FFS" I thought "Oh it's Abby's Flying Fairy School." I blame Twig for this, as I watch way too much Sesame Street. My mind continues to translate it as that, so the person saying it is obviously angry, and I'm giggling.
Moar blogs to read, nom nom nom. Will add to exploding blogroll!
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I’m glad too, because the 4k dps mage WAS a wanker, but I did respond in kind by refusing to heal him…. I suppose mine was the less aggregious misbehavior, but had the mage died that would have been counterproductive to the ‘run run must finish fast’ of the random heroic grind.
I think the group should at least have chastised me, even while kicking the mage.
In any case, the ffsing wanker got his due, I got cranky, but I got my way. I suppose I should just be happy that all is well with the world… of wow.
I’m glad too, because the 4k dps mage WAS a wanker, but I did respond in kind by refusing to heal him…. I suppose mine was the less aggregious misbehavior, but had the mage died that would have been counterproductive to the ‘run run must finish fast’ of the random heroic grind.
I think the group should at least have chastised me, even while kicking the mage.
In any case, the ffsing wanker got his due, I got cranky, but I got my way. I suppose I should just be happy that all is well with the world… of wow.
I’m glad too, because the 4k dps mage WAS a wanker, but I did respond in kind by refusing to heal him…. I suppose mine was the less aggregious misbehavior, but had the mage died that would have been counterproductive to the ‘run run must finish fast’ of the random heroic grind.
I think the group should at least have chastised me, even while kicking the mage.
In any case, the ffsing wanker got his due, I got cranky, but I got my way. I suppose I should just be happy that all is well with the world… of wow.
I’m glad too, because the 4k dps mage WAS a wanker, but I did respond in kind by refusing to heal him…. I suppose mine was the less aggregious misbehavior, but had the mage died that would have been counterproductive to the ‘run run must finish fast’ of the random heroic grind.
I think the group should at least have chastised me, even while kicking the mage.
In any case, the ffsing wanker got his due, I got cranky, but I got my way. I suppose I should just be happy that all is well with the world… of wow.
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