So today I logged on to do my daily dungeon. The first thing our PvP-geared Shaman Healer said was:
do this quickly plz
Followed shortly by (guess, go on, guess)
gogogo
I was just typing out my usual response to people who say they want the dungeon to be done quickly (oh really, I was planning to do everything as slowly as possible) when the dungeon started. So far so good, but the PvP geared Shaman Healer kept insisting that we had to go “quickly plz”.
Then we wiped in the drake room, to be fair this was partly because I was standing slightly too far to one side and aggroed another drake but for pity’s sake it’s Utgarde Keep, the tank had 40,000 hit points, I’m really not sure how that wiped us.
Then the tank DCed.
We stood around for a while.
dk can you tank this?
Asked the impatient dickhead shaman healer. Now I don’t have any tank gear, or a tank spec. I admit that were it a guildrun or had the group been bunch of nice polite people I might have given it a go, but frankly we’d already wiped once, I didn’t fancy doing it again. Also I have to admit that there was a voice in the back of my head saying “hey, wasn’t this guy telling us to ‘do this quickly please’? Why should I risk a bigger repair bill just because this jerk is impatient?”
That voice was going to be coming back later on.
So we downed Prince Kesseleth with minimal fuss, then took on a few more trash packs. Then we wiped again. I really don’t like to be the guy who blames the healer but the AoE on the UK trash was eating us alive. There’s no excuse for wiping on trash in Utgarde Keep, particularly not if you can Chain Heal.
Then the new druid tank went AFK.
We waited a bit. I was mildly peeved but at the back of my mind the little voice was saying “you know what, I bet this is really pissing off that wankstain of a shaman.”
And sure enough, the little prick trots up to the next trash pack.
dk tank this trash
He says. No “please”, no “would you mind,” no “hey if you try to tank these mobs I’ll try to be less of a fucking shitty healer.”
No
I replied.
Then the little twatweasel pulled anyway. Seeing another wipe ahead (seriously you stupid prick you can’t keep us alive with a functioning tank, what do you think’s going to happen without one) I backed away into the instance. If nothing else, there was no fucking way I was letting this impatient little shitstain tank-rape me. I’d said I wasn’t going to tank this fucking instance, I wasn’t going to tank this fucking instance.
then just do dps
He said.
This was about the point where I decided to waste as much of the little shitmonkey’s oh-so-fucking precious time as was humanly possible. The druid wasn’t back yet, so I just hung back and waited while the rest of the group cleared trash. Didn’t need the rep, didn’t need the drops, wasn’t going to be able to do much until the tank came back, I wasn’t going to be around when the little fucktards wiped. Which they did.
Seriously, I almost wish I’d switched to my Blood spec and dropped Hysteria on the little fuckers while they were pulling.
I considered dropping the group, but then I realized that I’d get the deserter debuff, and I didn’t want to wait to find a new group. On the other hand I didn’t want to hang around, so the moment I got out of combat, I hit the little eye and teleported back to the Storm Peaks, cheerfully farming Chilled Meat for my cooking dailies.
It felt fucking brilliant. Running Heroics these days is a colossal fucking waste of everybody’s fucking time, being able to do something I actually enjoyed while a bunch of impatient fuckstains wiped themselves into the floor trying to clear trash because they didn’t want to wait for the tank was brilliant. It was like I’d found a way to harness pure horseshit for personal gain.
dk your an idiot and a noob a rogue can tank this but you cant because you dont have tanking talents
Said the shit-for-brains PvP geared Shaman healer that wiped us on trash.
No, I just don’t take orders from pricks
I replied.
youve got frost presence
He observed
I know, but I have absolutely no reason to want to help you
Said I.
And that was the truth of it. I had literally no motivation to go back to the instance to help them kill trash mobs. I didn’t really care at this point whether the group made any progress. I was basically just hanging around waiting to be vote-kicked so as to avoid the Deserter debuff. I was vaguely hoping that everybody else would quit the group, letting me queue with an existing instance and thereby also skip out on the usual twenty minute wait you get as DPS.
So I went back to farming meat. I think the tank finally came back, because eventually the message went out over /p:
wheres the idiot dk?
Farming meat in the Storm Peaks
I replied cheerily
Then leave the group plz
No
At this point I was honestly expecting a vote-kick. Instead the group started frantically shuffling leadership. I’m not sure but I think maybe they were either (a) too dumb to find the kick button or (b) couldn’t kick me because I was out of the instance or in combat with mammoths. Either way it was fucking hilarious.
I will add that I am quite aware that I was being rather horrible to these people. But the Shaman had called me an idiot just because I didn’t want to follow his instructions, and one of life’s great pleasures is being fantastically fucking vindictive to stupid little shits. So I eventually came back, and walked sedately towards the end of the instance. And the group downed Ingvar the Plunderer before I was halfway there, which netted me two frost badges for no work whatsoever.
It was incredibly satisfying. Even more satisfying was noting that the Rogue had died in the final encounter – seriously it was getting to the point where I’d have kited trash packs the length of the instance just to wipe those assholes.
Then I left the group, flew back to Dalaran, handed in my cooking daily and bought my first piece of Tier 10. It’s probably the most satisfying emblem purchase I’ve ever made.
HERE HERE!
I would have loved to see that in action.
Also, I would do the same damn thing
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HERE HERE!
I would have loved to see that in action.
Also, I would do the same damn thing
My recent post Screenshot Friday
It did feel rather awesome. I do feel a little bit bad about the rest of the group but where I come from if somebody who isn't the tank pulls, you let them die.
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lol that is brilliant
I had someone (a rogue, of course) telling me to get a move on in UK heroic today, because "its only uk lol we can do this in 15 minutes".
Never mind that by the end he'd managed an average of 2.4k DPS. And that I, as tank, was 2nd with 1.9k.
I tried to point out that he's probably been carried through those 15 minute UK runs by people who know how to play the game, but he left the party as soon as the last boss was down.
Oh and did he attack the marked targets in the right order? Did he bollocks. Have a guess who was 2nd on total damage taken.
It never ceases to amaze me that people expect to faceroll things without doing any of the things that would actually allow them to faceroll them. Like not sucking at the game.
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My biggest pet peeve in random PuGs is people referring to others by their class and/or role. We all have VISIBLE names, so take the extra 5 sec to use them! *sigh*
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I know, it actually makes me want to punch people.
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Lovely!
And I think Gevlon would be proud.
That sounds exactly like something I would do. I can be pretty vindictive to jerks like that =D
Except I'd probably be a lot more vocal about *exactly* why I think he's a jerk, in as sarcastic a way as possible.
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Purest brilliance.
Gevlon-esque even.
It'd be great it shit-for-brains shammy could ready this and, in a fit of introspection, decided to be a decent human being. But he probably can't read.
I do feel a bit gevlonesque, although I suspect that Gevlon would have actually said that I should have stuck with the group to save myself the time.
My recent post Winning Asshole Chicken
Every time I think I have Gevlon's psyche nailed down, he surprises me with some new wrinkle (hey, maybe Tobold was right about it being a different person after all!), but I suspect he'd have been fine with what you did. He recently advocated going ninja-AFK during 5-mans that had bad players in them. I think this was one better. All you needed was some idea of when to cut your daily grinding short so you could port back into the instance. Not only was that time not spent paying attention to them, but it was time getting other stuff done that netted you gold and cooking resources.
Win-win.
I ignore comments that tell me to go faster.. I'm a tank, I base my speed on how well the group is doing, how well geared everybody is, and whether or not it seems like the team is working well together. If I'm going slower than you want, it's because I think somebody in the party's not holding up their end of the bargain.
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Okay, at the risk of sounding really rude… but considering the tag of this post, is the "award" meant to go to the shaman or to yourself, since you're very aware that you were acting horrible too? X)
And I can't help feeling kind of sorry for the rest of your party. I don't know why they didn't kick either of you, but only today I was confronted with the vote-kick system failing me utterly too, and it sucks having to either put up with one guy being a douche and completely ruining your run or eat the deserter debuff yourself.
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Actually I applaud the way he acted, he did precisely what I would have done presented with the same situation. If ya want or expect speed runs, do it with your overgeared guildies. otherwise plan on it taking a bit longer in a PUG. Don't like that, simple, don't PUG, not everyone shares the idea heroics SHOULD be done as quickly as possible, not when stupid deaths or wipes occur because people are trying to rush, it slows it down just as much as doing it at a reasonable pace would accomplish (without the deaths or wipes).
Don't worry about sounding rude – the title of the post is a reference to a post from way back about how people will try to manipulate you in groups by pushing you to the point where you either do what they want, or act like an even bigger asshole than they are (it was originally in reference to people who refuse to run after a wipe, deliberately forcing somebody *else* to delay the group so that they could get their own way).
The tank was AFK, the healer pulled without him. I could either try to tank which I had expressly told them I did not want to do, or I could let them fight the mobs without me. As long as I was in the dungeon, I risked paying the price for somebody else's impatience. The rest of the group chose to stick around and suck it up, I didn't. I fucked off. The little shittard shaman was holding the entire group hostage to his impatience, and I didn't want to put up with it, so I left the dungeon. And I stayed in the group because I didn't want to suck up a fifteen minute debuff on account of somebody else.
My recent post Winning Asshole Chicken
There isn't much to say except:
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
I had a similar experience in DTK last night on my Pally. The tank went afk after the 2nd pull, since I was talking in guild chat I was only partially paying attention. When someone moved up to another mob, I followed not realizing it was the tank. When I faceplanted (my own fault) the tank told the healer NOT to res me or the rogue. Now mind you the tank was a PURELY stam stacking druid tank, granted he had 65k life buffed, and a 5630 GS, but this I had a feeling would set the tone of his actions the remainder of the instance. So when we down Dred the healer is nearly out of mana and the tank is pissing and moaning about not getting healed to full cause he has the slashing debuff. To be fair the priest healer only had a 3350ish GS and was doing a damn good job keeping us alive. So what does the druid tank do right after this, he initiates a kick to the priest healer. right after it's defeated, I initiate a kick for him, a few seconds later he's gone, I switch specs on my pally to tanking and we finish the instance without further incident, griping (on the tanks part), and at a pace the undergeared healer can handle, instead of the chain pull fest the tank was doing. Only to bitch if he had to stop and eat (cause the healer was out of mana and couldn't heal him) or the healer had to drink the regain mana.
Why people feel the need to do these instances at warp speed I have no idea, is it REALLY so terrible to take an extra 5 minutes to complete the instance and not have someone die or cause a wipe due to sheer stupidity.
I had a similar experience in DTK last night on my Pally. The tank went afk after the 2nd pull, since I was talking in guild chat I was only partially paying attention. When someone moved up to another mob, I followed not realizing it was the tank. When I faceplanted (my own fault) the tank told the healer NOT to res me or the rogue. Now mind you the tank was a PURELY stam stacking druid tank, granted he had 65k life buffed, and a 5630 GS, but this I had a feeling would set the tone of his actions the remainder of the instance. So when we down Dred the healer is nearly out of mana and the tank is pissing and moaning about not getting healed to full cause he has the slashing debuff. To be fair the priest healer only had a 3350ish GS and was doing a damn good job keeping us alive. So what does the druid tank do right after this, he initiates a kick to the priest healer. right after it's defeated, I initiate a kick for him, a few seconds later he's gone, I switch specs on my pally to tanking and we finish the instance without further incident, griping (on the tanks part), and at a pace the undergeared healer can handle, instead of the chain pull fest the tank was doing. Only to bitch if he had to stop and eat (cause the healer was out of mana and couldn't heal him) or the healer had to drink the regain mana. Why people feel the need to do these instances at warp speed I have no idea, is it REALLY so terrible to take an extra 5 minutes to complete the instance and not have someone die or cause a wipe due to sheer stupidity.
Actually I applaud the way he acted, he did precisely what I would have done presented with the same situation. If ya want or expect speed runs, do it with your overgeared guildies. otherwise plan on it taking a bit longer in a PUG. Don't like that, simple, don't PUG, not everyone shares the idea heroics SHOULD be done as quickly as possible, not when stupid deaths or wipes occur because people are trying to rush, it slows it down just as much as doing it at a reasonable pace would accomplish (without the deaths or wipes).
If only these were the good old days. The douche demands that you tank. You say "okay, pass lead". Then you kick him and find a non-douche.
I ran into a druid like this; there I am in about 29k for H UP which is plenty. He starts mocking my gear "I have more health than you in my PvP gear." My response of "okay" didn't see to be what he wanted, so he started calling me shit. I left after he rolled need on a blue chest BoE chest when he was wearing an epic chest of at least ulduar 10 level. Well okay, I first pointed out that he was an ass, then I left. And got on one of my two other tanks for an instant queue.
The DK ended up in DTK with one of those hunters that starts shooting during the pull and doesn't misdirect. I told him to misdirect if he's going to do that. He didn't. So I said he sucked and left. Got on my paladin and killed something or other.
My recent post Know your customer
I once left a pally tank in the dirt for a while because he kept chain-pulling (in lowbie dungeons) when he was still at half health, we were waiting for some one to run back, and I was trying to drink. He would also keep pulling when I was waiting to drop combat to rez people, and then I would get in trouble for not following him to heal! It was that “gogogogog” mentality.
So I left him there, dead, until the rest of the party was assembled, healed, and I had mana. It was all I could think of to stop him from nearly killing us again – by pulling entire rooms of mobs when I’m at 20% mana.
I’m usually pretty patient, but there are some real jerks out there in Anonymous Land.
And I’m with Taz – can’t STANNNND people calling me “druid” or “healer”. I either ignore them (especially if it’s something like “druid rez me”) or I simply say “my name is Keeva” and keep going. Really boils my blood, that one.
Is a TINY bit of courtesy too much to ask?
Being called by your class is one of the things that makes me actively want to hurt people in-game. I don't mind it if it's third person ("It was the Shaman") but you don't address people like that you fucking fucktards.
My recent post Winning Asshole Chicken
To play devil's advocate a bit, some people really do have names that are bloody awkward to type. Plus, some have names that are unpronounceable, which makes Vent interesting sometimes.
Ok, I admit this is a bad habit of mine, that I need to work on. But in my defense, how many alternate characters can fit in one name, anyway?! (I’ve counted up to 8, so far.) That’s going to get them called by class/role every time.
I once left a pally tank in the dirt for a while because he kept chain-pulling (in lowbie dungeons) when he was still at half health, we were waiting for some one to run back, and I was trying to drink. He would also keep pulling when I was waiting to drop combat to rez people, and then I would get in trouble for not following him to heal! It was that “gogogogog” mentality.
So I left him there, dead, until the rest of the party was assembled, healed, and I had mana. It was all I could think of to stop him from nearly killing us again – by pulling entire rooms of mobs when I’m at 20% mana.
I’m usually pretty patient, but there are some real jerks out there in Anonymous Land.
And I’m with Taz – can’t STANNNND people calling me “druid” or “healer”. I either ignore them (especially if it’s something like “druid rez me”) or I simply say “my name is Keeva” and keep going. Really boils my blood, that one.
Is a TINY bit of courtesy too much to ask?
This is the most stunning example of asshole chicken I've ever heard. There have been many, many groups I'd like to have done this to, but I don't have the guts to.
Anyway, grats on your victory!
Good on you! I hate name-calling little brats. You totally need to post the shaman's name, too.
I thought that I was the only person in the world who used the abusive term, 'wankstain'. Now I know that there is one other out there. Lovely bit of drama as well, kudos.
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HERE HERE! I would have loved to see that in action.
Also, I would do the same damn thing My recent post Screenshot Friday
I've learnt a new word "Twatweasel" fantastic, reading this makes me want to start a blog, I hate Saturdays, I want Blizz to add a basic good manners test to pugfinder general, I want gearscore banned for a 1000 reasons but mainly because it lags you,your group,your guild your server. Why is it all the dross floats out at weekends, all i want is to do the dailies not die and not suffer abuse not much to ask.
@Adam i use wankstain on the table cloth of life but only on special occaisions, please excuse my spelling etc having a nightmare wow day not because I cant play, but just at "the horror the horror" of peoples behaviour, and i'll never group ever again with any horde from vashj server it seems Blizz did an Arsehole test and put them all there…… if all the worlds a stage why are all the clowns on vashj
sorry for ranting love this blog, it makes me smile, it makes me laugh at loud and it restores some faith that there are respectful humans out there in wowland.
ps i think i've met your shaman lol currently eating floor in OK blaming the tank,dps,blizz for his/her pavement munching
Werd to the werdth power.
I, too, despise being referred to as 'mage' or 'pally'. 'Sprink' is not too hard to type, and even if 'Tirralyis' is long, you can shorten it to 'Tir'… I'm okay with that.
Also, I totally need to farm meat while in a dungeon. Just once. To say I did. ^_^
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Ok, I admit this is a bad habit of mine, that I need to work on. But in my defense, how many alternate characters can fit in one name, anyway?! (I’ve counted up to 8, so far.) That’s going to get them called by class/role every time.
Ok, I admit this is a bad habit of mine, that I need to work on. But in my defense, how many alternate characters can fit in one name, anyway?! (I’ve counted up to 8, so far.) That’s going to get them called by class/role every time.
Ok, I admit this is a bad habit of mine, that I need to work on. But in my defense, how many alternate characters can fit in one name, anyway?! (I’ve counted up to 8, so far.) That’s going to get them called by class/role every time.
Ok, I admit this is a bad habit of mine, that I need to work on. But in my defense, how many alternate characters can fit in one name, anyway?! (I’ve counted up to 8, so far.) That’s going to get them called by class/role every time.
What bugs me is that Keeva has the same number of letters as Heals and Druid, and fewer than Healer.
It’s pure laziness (and rudeness) to not address people personally. Hey, I don’t even care if they shorten my name to the first few letters – at least it’s better than druid or healer. I AM A PERSON. I am not an NPC.
What bugs me is that Keeva has the same number of letters as Heals and Druid, and fewer than Healer.
It’s pure laziness (and rudeness) to not address people personally. Hey, I don’t even care if they shorten my name to the first few letters – at least it’s better than druid or healer. I AM A PERSON. I am not an NPC.
That has got to be the BEST pug story I've heard in awhile. It had me giggling like crazy. *cheers* Chas, awesome work!
That
Was
F****ing
STUNNING
I salute you
oh and for the record, I'm with Keharn – "Twatweasel" = fantastic word.
Well… About the rudest possible comment I had was in aug a couple of days ago…… Phased into the instance… Gave my normal "Hiya" Greeting and was immediately told "Shaddup Fag"
That pretty much set the tone for the rest of the run……
Was SOOOO tempted to just drop group – But had a Guild run of ICC in 1/2 an hour and only needed 3 badges to get my next T10 piece…
I love this tale of yours.
As a healer I find people aren't horrible, maybe this is for fear of not being healed or ressed if they are tits who pull stuff without my pocket tank pulling them first…
But. There have been times where I get the people who want to "do the instance quickly" and then they some how manage to pull aggro from mobs a million miles away from the tank and his healer *points at self* then they die.. then have the cheek to blame me! How am I to be blamed for you being a tit and running away from EVERYONE who can help keep your brainless character alive?
But it is great having a pocket tank, If someone pisses us off, due to pulling threat after attacking the non marked one * I mean comeon how hard is it to see a skull above a mobs head* or from simply being rude they are kinda screwed, The Tank doesn't taunt stuff off of them and the dps sit behind him hoping to god that his frustration isn't cast on one of them, and the healer doesn't heal or ress them when they die.
So….. after their initial "do this quickly" whilst being a complete tit and abusive to the party as a whole he died 8 times and had to run back in to the instance as no one would dare ress him in my stead.
it's fun being a healer =D
As a tank there's nothing I hate more than the lolkids' refrain of, 'gogogogogo' while people are buffing & drinking at the start.
If more people just had common decency and a bit of respect for each other they'd actually get what they want out of the run. I feel like screaming at them, 'The universe doesn't revolve around you! The world owes you nothing!'
Instead I just ensure that everything beats on me and try to avert my eyes from the chat window until the 2 frost emblems are received and it's over for another day. Like hitting your head on a brick wall, feels good when it stops. Trouble is, occasionally it's a dream run, people are polite and do their job well. A false sense of security… Have you noticed that when it's a good group, there's usually one silent one? That's the person that would ordinarily be the asshole, but the positive vibe of the run shuts them up. That's the theory, anyway.
Loved your post, smacking myself for taking so long to actually read through the posts on Righteous Orbs, instead of just bookmarking it 'for later'.
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