unveiled! the fourth hunter spec!
So the Chromie debate rages. Shintar mentioned something that almost tempted me to upgrade her score from an F to a D. Given that her full name Chronormu, it seems very likely that our bronze friend is actually a male dragon pretending to be a female gnome. A transvestite gnome-fancier which, admittedly, is something one has to respect. And definitely worth at the very least a D. Possibly even a C or a B for sheer diversity sensitivity.
But then I remembered, I have a very personal reason to despise Chromie with every fibre of my being. And this is it:
Our austere but handsome hero
A bald, ginger tard. Thank you, Chromie, than you so much.
So s/he can damn well stay as an F.
The other thing that’s been on my mind recently was the hunter in the party when we were taking out Malycos. Now, we managed to keep her alive through two of the three attempts but it was definitely in spite of her, if you know what I mean, not because of her. I have no idea what she was doing that was so comprehensively catastrophic but it was like the girl had a veritable deathwish. And don’t get me wrong here, I’m not going to randomly attack hunters as a class. I respect hunters. I enjoy playing hunters myself and a well-played hunter is a thing of beauty.
However.
You also have to accept the fact that there really are quite a lot of hunters out there who … well. Well. They don’t play like you and me, do they? They seem to have almost supernaturally enhanced abilities to fuck the game up, both for themselves and everyone around them. And it’s not just everyday silliness, either, it’s a kind of systematic self-destruction. What’s with that? And then it hit me.
Of course.
The fourth hunter spec.
The Suicidal tree.
And here it is:
Improved Facerolling: Improves the Damage of your Auto-shot by 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44/45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64/65/66/67/68/69/70/71… %
Improved Distracting Shot: Reduces the cooldown of your Distracting Shot by 2/4/6 seconds.
“Survival” Instincts: [Requires 5 points in Suicidal Talents] Increases all threat caused by 10/20%
Faster Pussycat Pull Pull!: [Requires 5 points in Suicidal Talents, Requires 3 points in Improved Distracting Shot] Reduces the level of your pet by 2/4/6/8/10 for the purposes of Aggro Radius only.
Unleashed Fury:[Requires 10 points in Suicidal Talents Requires Faster Pussycat Pull Pull!] Your pet cannot be taken out of Aggressive stance
Feign Readiness: [Requires 15 points in Suicidal Talents] You immediately clear all AFK flags, and respond positively to all ready checks, even if you are in fact having a fag break. Lasts 10/20/30 minutes.
Itchy Trigger Finger:[Requires 15 points in Suicidal Talents] Your Auto-shot is activated by left-clicking as well as right clicking.
Huntard Aura:[Requires 20 points in Suicidal Talents] 2/4/6/8/10% of all threat generated by raid members within 40 yards is transferred to you.
Aspect of the Noob: [Requires 20 points in Suicidal Talents]This ability has no effect, but it won’t matter because you will forget to put it up. Noob.
Improved Aspect of the Noob:[Requires 25 points in Suicidal Talents, Requires Aspect of the Noob] Increases the effect of your Aspect of the Noob by 0/0/0/0/0%
Improved Spamming:[Requires 30 points in Suicidal Talents] Your Critical Hits have a 20/40/60/80/100% chance to spam party or raid chat with a message saying how much damage you just did.
Premature Shot:[Requires 30 points in Suicidal Talents] You let off a premature shot at your target dealing 150% weapon damage, usable only on targets not already in combat.
“Improved” Misdirection:[Requires 30 points in Suicidal Talents] All threat transferred by your Misdirection ability is increased by 5/10/15% and applied to the main healer.
Improved Multi-Shot:[Requires 30 points in Suicidal Talents] Your multi-shot ability now strikes all possible targets within range.
Scattered Shots:[Requires 35 points in Suicidal Talents, requires Improved Multi-Shot] All of your attacks consume 1/2/3/4/5 additonal units of ammunition.
Spirit of the Wild:[requires 35 points in Suicidal Talents] Increases your Spirit by 2/4/6/8/10%
Trap Mastery: [requires 35 points in Suicidal Talents] Increases your chance to remember you have traps on your cast bars by 1/2/3/4/5%
Cleave Mastery: [requires 40 points in Suicidal Talents] Increases all damage you deal by melee weapons by 3/6/9/12/15% as long as you stand in front of the target.
Track Critters: [requires 40 points in Suicidal Talents] Shows the location of all nearby critters on the minimap.
Track Achievements:[requires 45 points in Suicidal Talents] [Requires Track Critters] Shows the location of all players on minimap with fewer Achievement Points than you.
Huntard’s Mark: [requires 45 points in Suicidal Talents] Places a big arrow over your current target. This has no game mechanical effect.
Pointless Theme Ability:[requires 45 points in Suicidal Talents] Does something kind of cool that feels very appropriate to the class, but only affects beasts, and isn’t usable against bosses so really, are you ever going to use it? Really?
Fire Dance:[Requires 50 points in Suicidal talents] You enter a fire dance for 30 seconds. Every two seconds you move to a new damaging environmental effect. While engaged in a fire dance you do not feel pity, remorse, or shame and are immune to Fear, Mind Control, and Raid Warnings.
Finally, have some linky love:
Given my own appalling record in this area, I couldn’t help but chuckle a little at this. I think is was the picture with the noble spacegoat, wielding his mighty, err, fishing rod.
Also there’s a great post over at Harpy’s Nest about vanity pets, which struck a chord with me because I’m exactly the same about them. My characters all tend to have a pet, that seems to fit suit their personality, and although I may acquire more over the course of playing, they rarely see the light of day. The Prettiest Elf has a Siamese cat, called, imaginatively enough, Siamese – since the Prettiest Elf is not over-endowed with brain or imagination. And, of course, Tam has Wayne the Wolvar Norphan. After the harrowing emotional rollercoaster of acquiring him, I doubt I’ll ever find a better pet in Azeroth.
There’s a shout out at Hots & Dots for one my favourite NPCs. Okay, he’s not Jeremiah Payson but Silvermoon Harry is pretty awesome too.
Very nice!
I was more than a little pissed at chromie for giving my lovely Drae that male human flattop. ;( grrr.
-for the Americans among us, a ‘fag break’ is not what it sounds like, despite the sensitivity expressed in the post above.
(it’s a smoke break)
and as for the Suicidal tree – yup, sounds like a few hunters I’ve known! You put waaay too much thought into this!
Cleave away!
Oh gosh, I entirely forgot the, err, lack of cross-pond translation in the term “fag break”
I’m sure I’d like CoS more if I didn’t look such an idiot throughout it – honestly, Chromie, if I’d wanted to play a bald ginger tard, I’d have rolled one.
Me? Putting too much thought into something? Never!?!
Glad I entertained you
Owned by a cross-dressing gnome-dragon! That’ll teach you to show some respect! Muhahahhahaaa!
Bah!
i lol’d
Good
What Chromie does to us is unforgivable. S/he always seems to give toons with cool hair the worst possible look. My NE druid has long blue hair, but I tend to switch between 2 types, but when Chromie strikes I end up with a blonde buzz cut or hair to my shoulders with a HUGE bald patch right on top. Damn you Chromie, Tam shouldn’t ever consider giving you more than an F. But when Saunder’s tree goes in with his stupid mohawk, which I can’t stand but it’s probably pay back cos I love placing the train set near him *sly grin*, he gets long hair as a human. It’s like Chromie does whatever possible to annoy you.
But back on to the main topic of this blog entry. LOL.
It sounds way too right, did you actually implement this into the game. But I believe this is the 5th hunter spec, as the 4th would have to be the melee hunter covered in mp5 shammy gear
Would that be the melee hunter that doesn’t actually have a pet out cos the thing dies too much?
Yep, the melee hunter that doesn’t like their pet cos it dies too much and does more dps than the owner =P
ARGH!!! I hate hunters who don’t use their pets. I mean, why?! Why be a pet class and not use the bloody pet! It would be like being a warlock without a demon (does that ever happen?)
Thank you! Someone who understands the true magnitude of Chromie’s affronts to us! Also, I’ve never rolled a human but I have to ask – what is with those hairstyles? Seriously, who creates a character and thinks “what I’d really like for the next 80 levels is RUBBISH HAIR and maybe a BALD PATCH.”
Glad the hunter tree amused – although, yes, the melee hunter is a special beast of pure stupidity…
ROFLMAO!!! But next time you should use a tool like http://www.war-tools.com/?p=ct so you can make a really cool talent tree.
OH! That’s awesome! I was looking for something like that when I was writing the thing.
This is full of so much win I don’t know where to start.
“Your pet cannot be taken out of Aggressive stance” probably my favourite. Gosh what hunter wouldn’t want that? It would make questing soooo much faster.
Or maybe this one “While engaged in a fire dance you do not feel pity, remorse, or shame and are immune to … Raid Warnings”
BTW I think that’s the first screenshot of Tamarind I’ve ever seen. Your priest getup almost makes blood elfs look good! Ok, well respectable and knowledgeable.
Hehe, thank you kindly
I have to confess that when I’m playing my newly rolled hunter I do, in fact, do most of the things this spec advocates – I’m such a huntard, but it’s weirdly fun. Thankfully I’m not really in a position to wreck the game for anyone else. Yet 
I think there are some old ones of Tam in his succession of sissy robes knocking around, including one in which he had flowers for an off-hand weapon but I’ve no idea where they are. I think the great advantage of his current gear is that it covers most of his face. Also I love the pink glittery shoulders….
Your male blood elf may, in fact, be the only male blood elf on the planet worthy of being fancied. *licks*
I have played with that hunter. (Also that [insert all other DPS capable classes and specs here].) I approve (and I LOL’D!)
Also Chromie is amazing, even if s/he does turn us all into freaking ugly humans whilst in the Caverns of Time. ♥
I think it’s the fact his helmet covers most of his face – brings out the best in a male belf
Actually, I’m secretly quite fond of the way Tam looks – I was trying to make him plainish looking for a blood elf, you know, quite stern features, ordinary coloured hair. All my other belves are outrageously flamboyant…
And I’m glad to have amused
And I’m afraid I’m not convinced on the Chromie = Awesome front. I can’t forgive her for the bald
Lol, that is the additional tree. If you are a huntard you get all of those plus you get to put 71 talent points in a single tree. Oh, and chromie makes my Druid look like Chuck Norris with a haircut from Flock of Seagulls…..terrible. Glad I am usually in tree form…..surprised Chromie didnt see it fit to give my tree a mullet.
Ahaha, the idea of a tree with a mullet is hilarious. Sick but hilarious.
Do you think Chromie gets off on this kind of thing? I’m getting increasingly convinced s/he does…
On some days, I play that specc. I think Blizz has added a breath-alyser into my pc, because i only seem to play that specc whenever I’ve had more than 3 g&t’s
Hehehe, I sometimes think I play that spec too. I enjoy huntering but I am the worst huntard known to man.
“Feign Readiness: [Requires 15 points in Suicidal Talents] You immediately clear all AFK flags, and respond positively to all ready checks, even if you are in fact having a fag break. Lasts 10/20/30 minutes.”
I think I’ve seen other classes than hunters with this.
Brilliant post!
Thank you kindly Erc – I’ve seen so many hunters playing like this, it has to be an offical spec, right?
Awesome!
As a hunter, I now hate you. I hate you so much. Where do you get off posting that?!?
… it was supposed to be a trade secret, only hunters are supposed to know about this, and now EVERYBODY will find out….
I only know because I recently rolled a hunter, I didn’t realise it was a trade secret
(Delighted to have entertained)
Chromie is evil indeed. I end up being a redhead fatty whenever I go there, really. My blue sweet prettiness is gone for the few minutes and me not likes. As well, human female casting animations… meh.
“Fire Dance:[Requires 50 points in Suicidal talents] You enter a fire dance for 30 seconds. Every two seconds you move to a new damaging environmental effect. While engaged in a fire dance you do not feel pity, remorse, or shame and are immune to Fear, Mind Control, and Raid Warnings.”
Are you sure this is hunter only talent? I’ve seen quite many players from other classes with something like this maxed out…
Oh God, yes, don’t get me started on the human male casting animations – whenever he hearths, it looks suspiciously like he’s masturbating.
Who would choose to play a human =P
To be fair, the female humans are generally pretty attractive but the male humans all look like 70s porn stars.
As for Fire Dance … hmm … maybe a book of it drops, or something? Allowing other classes to use it. Or perhaps Blizzard will incorporate it into other trees, since it’s such an awesome ability
If a hunter takes alot of Suicidal talents but also has many Survival talents what happens?
P.S. I now have 2 level 80s
Druid and Shaman 
Hmmm…I think you just become under-powered because you don’t max out the trees
Oooh, and grats to you! That’s awesome.
Bald is beautiful.
Mullet bald is atrocious.
Luckily, I’m Human, thus Chromie has yet to morph me into some backwater hick. Though you know, with Cataclysm approaching and the potential option to become a Gnome Priest…
<__>
^_^